Friday, January 22, 2010

Feelings...

Lately, I have been having some really emotional moments. I know I am preggers so that is normal but DANG! I have been thinking about some things that really put me over the edge crying..the funny part is that most of the time when this happens..I am alone in my car or at my desk. I guess that is when I get the most "emotional".

Like one day last week, it was raining, and I was on my way to work. I started thinking about whether the baby is a boy or girl. The name I picked for a girl has my grandmother's name in it. My grandmother passed the day before I graduated high school in 2004. Lilyann Eve is the name we picked for a girl. Ann was my grandmother's name. Well while driving I started thinking about my grandma and started talking to her..about why we picked the name Lilyann and why we spelled it that way. Of course I just broke down, started crying and had to pull over and calm down.

Sometimes, I start thinking about becoming a mother and emotions rear their ugly head again. I wonder if I will be a "natural" like some women or if I will be a complete failure. I worry that people will be watching my every move and critizing the things that I do. I am a natural worrier anyways, but with these pregnancy hormomes surging through my body, I am like a ticking time bomb! No kidding!

I know all these things are normal for pregnant women but I hate letting them get the best of me. I cry at the drop of a hat over a song, a news story, a blog entry, etc. etc.

This post is pretty random..but just thought I would share.

4 comments:

  1. Cori - A)All of this is COMPLETLY normal! B) You will be a great mother. And let me tell you I don't know anyone that it just comes natural to. Being a mother is hard and confusing and you are always doubting yourself. But in the end you know that you love your child with all your heart and you just try to do the best you can and know how. Having good friends and family to call for advice helps too. C) People will always be watching and criticizing but you get a back bone and you tell them "because I am the mother that is why." I have had to do it probably to all the grandparents. Trust me it is hard to stand up to people but you learn and you try to not hurt anybodys feelings but sometimes it just happens unintentionally.

    Anyway, try to enjoy your pregnancy and everything about it. I wish I would have done more of that. I cried A LOT!! I wish I would have sat down and the end of the day and thought about positive things about everything. Not sure if it would have worked...probably would have ended up crying at that too..Ha. It's just a lose lose...

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  2. Hugs Cori.
    I think you will be just fine!

    And I really love the name Lillyann, especially now that I know a little more about it!

    And remember I have a feeling it's going to be a girl! ;-)

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  3. I am laughing at your post, especially since I posted my lunatic rant yesterday. I'm glad you know that all of this is completely normal!!

    I left you an award on my blog.

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  4. Love the name Lillyann! I never had a girl, but had we had one, LilyAnn was a middle name we picked out, also after my grandma (but the Lily part...). Just had to comment!

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