Thursday, July 16, 2009

Do you ever?

Do you ever just feel like screaming?? I am not talking about a little yell..I am talking a scream at the top of your lungs?? I am having one of those days, perhaps even one of those weeks. As I stated in a prior post here I am on a new adventure in my life with being a step-mommy. I absolutely love it, BUT with every good thing, comes a bad thing. And in my case that "bad" thing is the children's mother.

She makes me so angry that I could scream! As I stated above..I am talking about a top of your lungs scream! She disregards Noah as a father, uses the children as leverage, and never ever has the children's best interest at heart. I would do anything in the world for these kids.

Right now the issue is where E (5) will go to Elementary School, yes that is right, it is a month until school starts and she has yet to decide what school to put him in. We would LOVE for him to go to school in our school district instead of her school district because of the academics of each school. But that would require her allowing Noah to have residential custody of the kids (even though they would still technically live with her), it would only be on paper for his school. But she is too stubborn and will not give up her "power" that she has over Noah.

I am praying daily that her heart and her mind sees that this is what is best for E. Please pray with me!


  1. stumbled upon your blog. There are a ton of us out there in your shoes (step moms) be careful venting in a public place with so many details. Most of us have gone private or use fictitious names to protect ourselves from the potential backlash from the Biological mom. Welcome to the other side ;) you're in for a bumpy and extremely rewording ride!

  2. Remember that his mom probably loves him very much, and is doing what she thinks is right for him. She might not show that - I'm sure she is feeling very threatened by you (even if you are the nicest person in the whole world!).

    I've been both a stepmom (during my first marriage) and then my ex-husband married someone after he and I divorced. So I've been on both sides. It's hard for everyone.

    I know it's difficult, but if you can find some empathy and think about how you'd feel if your child was getting a new stepmother (who was marrying your ex-husband), and you might understand her better. This is in no way to excuse any irrational behavior on her part - but just to help you understand where her fear might be coming from.

  3. You are in for a hard road. I've lived it.

    A divorce and re-marriage asks people who are struggling with broken relationships, loss, anger, difficult change, and fear to, when they are the least able, be mature and thoughtful. As hard as it may be, if you pray for her (ex-wife) it will soften your heart and put you in a good place to love the children.

    Please remember that you cannot control what she does, but you can control your own behavior. Someone said to me "put your energies into things within your circle of influence". Really good advice!